If Sarah Palin didn't want her bareass thighs on the front of a national magazine, she shouldn't have posed for a photo showing her bareass thighs.

It doesn't matter that the photoshoot was for Runner's World. Her gams were going to be seen by everyone on the planet, and she fucking knew it the minute she walked into that studio and dropped trou. She did it on fucking PURPOSE.

ALL HAIL THE GLORIOUS RETURN OF OUR DESTROYER, THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER

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They say they'll be ready to cross the streams in the beginning of 2010 and really get down to business. If all reality spontaneously annihilates itself in a nanosecond, you probably won't have time to register it anyways.

Next year, new rule.

Kids 12 and under get candy.
Teenagers in plastic convenience store "Scream" masks and bluejeans get RAISINS.

For all the rest of you, Happy Halloween, and watch out for the ghost of Zepheniah Mann!

When I get depressed, I get this urge to buy people dinner.

I guess the act of providing food for others is such a guaranteed way to gain at least their temporary appreciation, so that at least for the span of the meal, I feel like people actually like me.

I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE BEATLES.

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SERIOUSLY, LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE, I MEAN COME ON